Are there memories that have a lot of emotional weight? Have you ever wondered why does this event that happened so long ago still carry so much emotional weight? What would it do for you if you knew why some things are so hard to heal? Would it make it easier to allow yourself to heal? Could you take this traumatic event and work with your therapist to have it no longer be traumatic?

In parts and memory therapy, therapists came across something that is termed as “blockers”. This is when they go into a memory with the intentions of taking out the emotions and something stops this intervention. That occurs because there’s a part of our personality that is blocking the intervention hence the term blocker.

This is the part of us that’s afraid or concerned about taking the emotions out of a memory. But why? Why would an individual not be okay with being, okay? If someone is experiencing fear, they then need to figure out why they are afraid.

Sometimes it can make people feel vulnerable, would taking the emotion out mean that they’re exposed to getting hurt again? Would it mean that they’re not going to remember what happened? Subconsciously we have these concerns like, if this doesn’t hurt anymore then what? If this doesn’t hurt, then then is my guard down am I more vulnerable to getting hurt again? That being said sometimes it’s hard to allow healing to occur because we want to protect ourselves, to make sure not to forget.

Emotional healing is actually what protects someone.

If something scars over physically, it can be rubbed against but it’s not going to hurt as much as if it was raw. Emotionally the same thing is true if it’s scarred over, and we encounter something like that again it’s not going to hurt as much. We’re not going to feel as overwhelmed, or as triggered.

Sometimes a person will reason that the pain is emotional learning.

They worry about what happens if the pain is not there anymore. What happens is it goes to cognitive learning the learning’s still there the memory is still there it just doesn’t hurt anymore. This is a goal of therapies like EMDR, or parts and memory therapy where a therapist will take the emotions out and it’s just something that happened.

When there’s resistance, when there’s this fear that’s part of our personality that is this afraid of what would it mean to not feel those strong emotions anymore. If that’s the case for you, listen to that part of you and find out what is maybe not okay with being okay. Reassure that part of you because when you take emotions out of a memory you don’t forget and the desire to protect yourself will still be there.

Some people need this reassurance that it’s okay to let go of pain, and it’s safe to let go of pain. Letting go of pain can still create feelings of being safe all the learning’s still there, you just feel better.

If you’re going through therapy and you’re getting stuck or not going through therapy, but there’s stuff that’s happened a long time ago and still holds emotional weight, listen to the part of you that might not be okay with letting go. Acknowledge that part that is afraid of it not hurting. Whatever comes up, whatever concern is there, reassure that part of you that you will be okay.

By reassuring that part of you that healing is going to be much easier. Be introspective listen to any parts of you that may not be okay with being okay, that may have concerns and reassure that part of you that healing, and therapy is going to be helpful.